Boston Drivers

As a public service, here are a few of the Rules of the Road I have learned driving in Boston for over 40 years.


1. Never leave an open patch of pavement. This is true in line at a light, on the highway, or even in a parking lot. An open stretch of pavement is the enemy. So, if stopped at a light, pull up close to the car in front. If this means blocking a cross street, it's not your problem, is it?

2. Avoid signaling your intention to turn. Directional signals are for wimps. A better strategy is to glance (while pretending that you did not) and go.

3. If Right on Red is OK, Left on Red might be be good too. After 1:00 AM, Straight on Red is allowed.

4. Accelerate on Yellow.

5. When being tailgated, step on your brakes. The brake lights will freak out the guy tailing you.

6. When tailgating at night, use high beams to disorient the driver in your way.

7. When when two cars approach an intersection at the same time, the vehicle whose front bumper dips loses the right of way.

8. Add ten miles per hour to all posted speed limits, twenty miles per hour for limits under 40.